Essay Outline
Introduction
First sentence: writer, title, text type, context, topic of the passage* → the heartbeat
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Include as many fundamental details of the passage as possible
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Text type → e.g. article, editorial, blog post, speech, cartoon, advertisement
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Context → where and when the passage was published
Second sentence: purpose, target audience
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Purpose
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fact-based passage → e.g. to describe, to inform, to explain
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opinion-based passage → e.g. to argue, to claim, to criticize
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Target audience that
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designates a specific group → e.g. competitive cyclists, tourists in Australia
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excludes a specific group → e.g. readers who are not experts on medicine, readers who have not experienced poverty
[background information] (2-4 sentences)
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Summarize the factual information in the passage
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Avoid mentioning stylistic choices that will be analyzed in the body
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In this passage, the writer:
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listens to a patient’s heartbeat without a stethoscope
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explains the scientific details of the heart and the heartbeat
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remembers when he was a student
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helps a pregnant woman who visits his clinic
* Language and Literature SL May 2016 Paper 1 Text 1
THESIS: purpose of the passage, topic of each body paragraph
This passage explains the heartbeat to non-expert readers through ethos, metaphor of water, and metaphor of music.
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X: purpose of the passage → to explain the heartbeat to non-expert readers
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A: body paragraph #1 → ethos
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B: body paragraph #2 → metaphor of water
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C: body paragraph #3 → metaphor of music
→ Introduction Paragraph Length: 5-7 sentences, 125-175 words
Body
Topic sentence: topic of the body paragraph, purpose of the passage
[three-step analysis]
1.
Identify the example
a.
Specify the factual information when the stylistic choice appears
b.
Use a quote to capture the stylistic choice
2.
Explain the significance
a.
Use a literary term whenever applicable to label this stylistic choice
b.
Analyze the effect or implication of this stylistic choice
3.
Connect to the thesis
a.
Analyze the way this stylistic choice contributes to the purpose of the passage
Repeat the above steps for every example in the body paragraph
→ Body Paragraph Length: 10-12 sentences, 225-275 words
A: Ethos
The passage creates a sense of ethos to convey reliable information about the heart.
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A1: Anecdote of forgetting the stethoscope
1.
When the writer forgot to bring his stethoscope on an urgent house call, he “had to rediscover the traditional method,” putting his head directly on the patient’s chest to listen to the heartbeat.
2.
This anecdote shows that even in an unexpected situation, the writer can react accordingly to treat his patient.
3.
While it is conventional to use a stethoscope, his ability to use an alternate method portrays his expertise as a doctor to the readers.
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A2: Jargon
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A3: Anecdote of the pregnant woman
B: Metaphor of water
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B1: Metaphor “the way wind whips up waves on the sea”
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B2: Metaphor “a river flooding through a narrow canyon”
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B3: Metaphor “the sound of the sea, or hearing a storm outside”
C: Metaphor of music
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C1: Simile “like harp strings”
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C2: Metaphor “murmurs that can be high-pitched or low”
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C3: Metaphor “an allegro played over an adagio”
Conclusion
Restate the thesis (1-2 sentences)
[broader ideas about this passage] (2-3 sentences)
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Examine a larger significance of the passage beyond its primary purpose
→ How are metaphors used in science to explain concepts that may be unfamiliar or difficult?
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Suggest a follow-up topic based on the contents of the passage
→ To what extent would the style used in this passage be effective for an educational text?
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When analyzing a passage from an older time period, discuss how the passage would need to change in order to appeal to a modern audience
Final sentence: return from the discussion of broader ideas to the actual passage
→ Conclusion Paragraph Length: 4-6 sentences, 75-125 words
Sample Writing
Introduction
This passage, a magazine article¹ written by a doctor named Gavin Francis² for the London Review of Books³, discusses the human heartbeat⁴. The purpose of this article is to explain the way the heartbeat functions to presumably British readership who are interested in the topic but are likely not experts or students of medicine⁴. The text begins with the writer’s experience of listening to a patient’s heartbeat without a stethoscope before an explanation of the scientific details about the heartbeat. Then, following the writer’s recollection of listening to the heartbeat as a student, the text concludes with the story of a pregnant woman concerned about her baby⁵. Overall, combining the scientific and literary, this passage explains the heartbeat to non-expert readers through ethos, metaphor of water, and metaphor of music⁶.
Body Paragraph A
The article adeptly establishes ethos to convey credible insights about the heart to the target audience⁷. When the writer forgot to bring his stethoscope on a critical house call, he “had to rediscover the traditional method,” placing his head directly on the patient’s chest to discern the heartbeat. This anecdote underscores Francis’ capacity to skillfully navigate unconventional situations with professionalism and efficacy in attending to patients. Although it is more conventional to use a stethoscope, his ability to employ an alternative method serves as a testament to his medical proficiency for the readers. Following this anecdote⁸, the writer leads the readers to a scientific breakdown of the heartbeat, using specialized terminologies like “systole” and “diastole.” Aware that some readers may be unfamiliar with these scientific jargons, Francis enables the readers to understand the two sounds of the heartbeat as well as the four valves in the heart by also providing the definition of those terminologies. Concluding the passage⁹, he recounts a visit from a pregnant woman, when he used “a Pinard stethoscope” to listen to the fetal heartbeat. Since a fetus’s heartbeat is more rapid and subdued than an adult’s, this anecdote demonstrates the writer’s expertise in using more sophisticated instrumentation. He explains that the woman “hadn’t felt her baby move for a day or so,” which caused her great anxiety; however, as Francis reassures her that her baby is healthy, the text not only imparts his expert knowledge of the heart but also underscores his trustworthiness and reliability as a physician to the readers.
¹ Text type
² Writer
³ Context
⁴ Topic of the passage
⁵ Two sentences summarizing the passage
⁶ Thesis statement
⁷ Topic sentence of body paragraph A
⁸ Transition from A1 to A2
⁹ Transition from A2 to A3